Abuse can be random and one-off or it can take place over many months, with abusers building up a relationship with – or ‘grooming’ – their victim. Grooming tends to take time but there are cases where children are groomed quickly. It’s not always a lengthy process and there is no fixed pattern – each case is different.
Abusers may also try to gain your trust, which is why it’s really important to listen to your child and believe them, even if it’s hard to comprehend that someone you know or trust may have caused harm to them.
If grooming takes place online the victim may be invited to meet up offline with the intention of abusing the child or young person. Increasingly however, abusers act anonymously and are more interested in obtaining sexually explicit photos or videos which they then threaten to post on social media, blackmailing the victim and trying to make them produce more material.
Grooming can start with a seemingly innocent conversation on social media or in a chat room. At the start the conversations may not be sexual in nature as the perpetrator seeks to build trust. Very quickly the conversation changes and a question that seems innocent, such as asking what they like about their body or how they feel about a certain girl or boy they know, can then lead to more sexually explicit chat and requests for photos or videos.